There is no there there

Where are you going?

Over there. I’m not sure exactly what will be there, but I’ll know it when I get there.

It’ll likely be success, achievements, dollars, likes, followers, happiness, freedom, and more. It will all feel so good when I get there.

Why are you going there?

Oh, because that is where everyone wants to be. And I know I can. We all want to get there because of what it means. We want to be part of something bigger, we want to influence, we want to control, we want to hear the accolades and feel all the good feelings that come with arriving there.

How will you get there?

Hard work, focus, determination, skill, drive, wit. Climbing the ladder, building relationships, receiving promotions, making moves, seizing opportunities. Whatever it takes.

What if you get lost?

Not possible. Keep your eyes on the prize.

And when we arrive, there is nothing there. There is no there there. The thing we are chasing, the thing we think will make us happy, the final destination that will make all the hard work worth it…it doesn’t exist. There is no there there.

Well wtf do we do with that? Getting there was supposed to be the goal. Now what?

“It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” is another way to say “there is no there there.” But for some reason, the actual visualization of arriving in that magical place and picturing how good it will feel, only to realize that “there” was an illusion and there is nothing there when I get there hits me straight in the gut. It’s something that I’ve experienced before, but also just thought that I needed to adjust my “there” to be more in line with the feelings of what there is supposed to feel like.

Eff, is there anything more exhausting? And less fulfilling?

I’m currently obsessed with Jonathan Fields’ new book “Sparked”. I got it on Friday and the purpose behind him writing it resonates with me to the core of my soul. The actual content of the book is just as good, as he describes the 10 Sparketypes that reveal what drives each of us.

My main Sparketype is Advisor. My shadow (secondary) is Nurturer. And my anti-Sparketype is Essentialist. This makes so much sense and is also heart breaking for reasons I’m still unpacking. More on that later.